A Friendly Guide to Preparing Your Mediation Background

When you write the background of your case, think of it as giving the mediator a “map” of how you got here. The mediator wasn’t there for the arguments or the history, so your job is to help them see the big picture.

Here is how to write a clear, effective story:

1. Start with the “Who and When” (The Basics)

Begin with the facts that don’t change.

• Example: “We were married for 10 years,” or “The contract was signed on January 1st.”
• Why it helps: This gives the mediator a solid foundation before they dive into the more complex issues.

2. Use a Timeline (The “How We Got Here”)

Instead of jumping around, try to list events in the order they happened.

• Tip: Focus on the turning points. What was the specific moment the disagreement started?
• Keep it simple: You don’t need to list every tiny argument. Focus on the major events that led you to seek mediation.

3. Focus on “Interests,” Not Just “Demands”

Instead of just saying, “I want $5,000,” explain why it matters to you.

• Bad: “He owes me money and I want it.”
• Good: “I am concerned about my financial stability because I have taken on the debt for the car we shared.”
• Why it helps: Mediators are experts at finding solutions when they understand the need behind the request.

4. Be Honest About the “Safety Questions”

As you write, refer back to the safety topics we discussed. If there were Protection Orders or moments where you felt intimidated, include them in your background.

• Example: “There was a restraining order in 2023, and since then, I have felt restricted in speaking my mind during our private conversations.”

The “Draft & Submit” Process

Writing your story can be emotional, so you don’t have to finish it all at once.

• Save as Draft: You can start writing, walk away, and come back later. This is your “safe space” to organize your thoughts and make sure you haven’t forgotten anything important.
• Final Submission: Once you hit Submit, your story is sent to the mediator. This “locks” the document.
• The “No Edit” Rule: Think of your submitted story as a formal statement. To keep the process fair and transparent, you cannot edit the document after submission.
• What if I made a mistake? If you realize you forgot something vital or made a factual error, you must ask the mediator to unlock the draft or allow an addendum. This ensures that everyone is working from the same information at the same time.

Tips for a “Mediator-Friendly” Style:

• Use Bullet Points: They are much easier to read than long walls of text.
• Stay Objective: Try to describe what happened (“The payment was three days late”) rather than using labels (“He is a deadbeat”).
• Focus on the Future: While the background is about the past, tell the mediator what you hope will happen in the future.

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